Message from your Bridge Pastor
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. ”
This past Sunday, we spent some time in worship identifying feelings that folks are having about all that has happened in the church since Rev. Eric went on medical leave, culminating with his resignation on June 24. While we did not share our feelings publicly, I know that many of you are having difficult feelings in relation to the congregation right now. That’s not to say that everything is bad, just that things are hard right now. If I were to put myself in your place and try to “feel into” what you may be experiencing, I would guess that some of you may be feeling abandoned, some of you may be feeling angry, some may be feeling heartbroken, and some just plain discouraged and deflated. Some of you may feel like there’s been a death in the family, while others of you may find the situation unpleasantly similar to a not-so-amicable divorce. Or you may have a better metaphor to use. It’s important to acknowledge these feelings, and we started to do that on Sunday. But much work remains to be done. I am feeling “confident” that the new Designated Term Pastor that will be arriving in early August will be up to the job of doing that important work with you to process and heal from the loss of your pastor.
In the meantime, what can we do to keep the ark of the congregation afloat on stormy seas, especially since the world around us is storming as well? First, breathe. Breathing is one of the best ways to manage stress. There are lots of techniques you can use but the important things are to breathe in deeply through your nose so that your lower belly rises, and then breathe out through your mouth. It can help to make your out-breath a bit longer than your in-breath also.
Breathing can be a great way to introduce a pause in a situation where you are becoming reactive. Before you react, stop and breathe. That helps your “human brain” or prefrontal cortex re-engage and helps get you out of your “reptilian” or limbic brain, where your fight/flight/freeze instincts take over.
Secondly, and I can’t stress this enough, practice compassion for yourself and others. Everyone in the church is having a difficult time because it is a difficult time, and no one is spared. This is a great time to remember the Golden Rule…treat one another (and speak to one another) the way you want to be treated…and that means everyone, from the member in the pew or on the committee with you, to the church staff, to the pastor… everyone, and especially people who get on your nerves. Try to assume that people are doing their best, because that’s usually true! And give yourself credit for doing your best too! This is the time to practice tenderness with one another, because everyone is hurting to some degree and needs a little TLC. I know you can do this, because you don’t have to do it on your own...God is able to love others through you, even when your own well runs dry. Imagine allowing God to clothe you in all those wonderful virtues from the Colossians passage above. You can be that person, through God’s grace. And that will make all the difference.
In love, Rev. Janet